Do You Need a Lawyer Right Now?

The Honest Answer: It Depends

Not every divorce requires a lawyer from day one. But far more do than most guys realize. The problem isn't that you hired a lawyer too early. The problem is almost always that you waited too long.

Here's how to figure out where you stand.

You Need a Lawyer Right Now If...

You have kids. Full stop. Custody, parenting time, child support — these are not things to wing. The initial custody arrangement often becomes the permanent one. If you don't fight for your time with your kids from the start, you may never get it back. A family law attorney makes sure you don't accidentally give away your parental rights by being "reasonable."

She already has a lawyer. If she's lawyered up, you're already behind. Her attorney is advising her on strategy while you're Googling "do I need a divorce lawyer." Yes. You do. Today.

There are significant assets. A house, retirement accounts, investments, a business, stock options — if there's real money involved, you need someone who understands how to value, divide, and protect those assets. DIY divorce works great until it costs you half your retirement.

There's conflict or manipulation. If she's threatening to take the kids, making false accusations, hiding money, or has a history of controlling behavior, you need legal protection immediately. Not next week. Now.

You've been served papers. If you've received formal divorce papers, you have a deadline to respond. Miss it and the court can grant her everything she asked for by default. Get a lawyer before that clock runs out.

You Might Be Able to Wait If...

It's genuinely amicable. Both of you agree on the major issues — who keeps what, how to handle custody, what's fair financially. No resentment, no hidden agendas, no power imbalance. This is rarer than people think, but it does happen.

There are no kids. Without custody in the picture, the complexity drops significantly. If you also have straightforward finances — maybe you rent, have modest savings, and no major debts — a simpler path may work.

You're both open to mediation. A good mediator can help you reach a fair agreement at a fraction of the cost. But mediation only works if both sides are acting in good faith. The moment it feels one-sided, get your own attorney.

Even in these scenarios, get a consultation. One hour with a family law attorney will tell you whether your "simple" divorce is actually simple — or whether there are landmines you haven't seen yet.

What a Consultation Looks Like

Most divorce attorneys offer an initial consultation, sometimes free but usually between $150 and $350 for an hour. That hour is one of the best investments you'll make.

Bring your questions. Bring your financial snapshot (see Protect Your Money Right Now). Tell the attorney your situation honestly. They'll tell you what you're looking at in terms of process, timeline, likely outcomes, and cost.

You're not committing to hiring them. You're getting the lay of the land from someone who does this every day.

How to Find the Right One

Not all divorce lawyers are created equal. You want someone who:

• Specializes in family law. Not a general practice attorney who "also does divorces."
• Has experience with cases like yours. If custody is the main issue, find someone known for custody work.
• Communicates clearly. If they can't explain things in plain English during the consultation, it won't get better.
• Doesn't promise the moon. Any lawyer who guarantees outcomes is lying. The good ones tell you the range of possibilities and their strategy to get the best one.
• Feels like a fit. You're going to be in the trenches with this person. Trust your gut.

Ask friends, check Avvo and Martindale-Hubbell ratings, read Google reviews, and consult your state bar association's referral service. For a detailed walkthrough, read How to Find the Right Divorce Lawyer.

The Cost of Not Having One

Here's the math that matters. A divorce lawyer costs money — typically $3,000 to $15,000 for a straightforward case, more if it's contested. That sounds like a lot until you realize that one bad custody agreement, one missed asset, or one poorly worded settlement clause can cost you hundreds of thousands over a lifetime.

You wouldn't perform surgery on yourself to save the surgeon's fee. Don't do it with your divorce either.

The Bottom Line

When in doubt, get the consultation. It's a few hundred dollars and an hour of your time. You'll walk out knowing exactly what you're dealing with and whether you need full representation or a simpler path. That clarity alone is worth it.